Sacred Marriage: A New Model of Loving Partnership
(c) 2006 Mellissa  Seaman All Rights Reserved

Imagine a different form of marriage, which is not a contract or vow, but an Intentional Field shared by both partners.   The shared Intention between partners might be to devote themselves individually and together to their Highest Good – their Paths as individuals walking closely together.   Within the container of this Intentional Field, the partners agree to cultivate their power and love together, creating an abundant well-spring of healing and manifesting energies.   I like to call this Sacred Marriage.

Sacred Marriage is not based in binding promise or obligation.   There is no vow, no everlasting contract.   There is no assumption of what the future must bring to be a “successful” partnership.   The details are left to God and fate.   There is only the Intention to walk together and to support each other in walking individually with the Divine.   Can there be a “marriage” like this?

Any strong partnership calls for a grand trust -   a willingness to allow the other to lead the way in areas where one is blind.   There is teamwork in helping the individual partners follow their unique paths, and a shared intention to avoid competition between the partners. What if this trust was the only glue in the relationship?   What if this trust replaced the contract and the societal pressure to maintain the appearance of “happily ever after?”

There are many who believe this kind of partnership provides a container within which the greatest magic occurs.   It is accepted in the priestly teachings of many cultures, including the Quero Apache, that there is no higher or more powerful magical influence than the sacred joining of priest and priestess, who contain and direct their sexual energy together, cultivating their life force to send out toward healing, purification, and manifestation with the power of their passionate devotion for the Highest Good.   It is said by the Quero Apache that the power of such a joining is the most powerful magical act, and can literally heal the planet.   The ancient Celts, like many earth-based societies, celebrated the sacred marriage of earth and sky through the union of man and woman in sacred sexuality, which enhanced the fertility of the land, of the tribe, and of all life.   Isn't this underlying power of sex present in

Ritual is useful in grounding intention.   The ceremony creating a Sacred Marriage might have the community witnessing a couple stating their individual intentions for healing, as well as their shared intention to walk together in Devotion.   It might look different than a traditional marriage, with no everlasting vows or promises to stay together “no matter what.”   While the idea of Sacred Marriage is not about vows and rules, it is important in any partnership to specify how this individual couple chooses to hold their container sacred and safe together in a practical way that supports the emotional peace of both people.   

Sexual integrity is an important issue in creating a safe, whole, and sacred container.   The vital force energy being contained and cultivated in Sacred Marriage is the sexual energy of each person, and that which is generated within the partnership.    Most couples maintain integrity of the container by limiting sexual involvements outside of the relationship.   This balance point is sacred, individual, and core to the issue of trust and feeling of safety in relating.   Specific agreements of intention here are useful in creating a spacious and safe container.

The container of Sacred Marriage is not created by society for individuals, but rather built by individuals within society.   Therefore, it is not pre-determined by societal mores and rules about monogamy, co-ownership, parenting rights, shared income, and a lifelong bonding.    All issues, including the duration of the partnership, can stated or left indeterminate, leaving all things to be guided by the flow of the Universe, and constantly held to the standard of the Highest Good -   to what supports and enlivens the individuals apart and together on their paths.   While certain practical arrangements should be agreed upon to nurture safety and comfort in living together, all issues can be approached from the standpoint of supporting the path of each person, and not from the old standpoint of avoiding change, conflict, and social embarrassment.

Old definitions of loyalty are challenged by this concept of Sacred Marriage.   The old structure might have a spouse standing silently by, enabling addictions, abusive communications, or other self-destructive patterning in their partner in the name of Loyalty, and in order to avoid embarrassment, conflict, and change.   Sacred Marriage, on the other hand, includes the strong intention, or commitment, to consistently and lovingly challenge one's partner to facing, loving, and healing those patterns which distract or inhibit his or her path and power.

Sacred Marriage requires the participants to be completely devoted to the courageous path of feeling and speaking their truth, to walking their sacred path in communion with All That Is, and to supporting their partner to do the same, even when it brings change and/or completion of the partnership.   In this way, it is an agreement field held between priest and priestess – persons who have devoted themselves to walking a path with Spirit despite their fears, ego-driven desires and ambitions, and their self-limiting patterns.   For those who choose to walk in life with this level of surrender and devotion, Sacred Marriage is a container within which the energy cultivated creates miracles of abundance, fulfillment, and healing.

When contemplating traditional stories and expectations around romantic love, including Valentine's Day and the ideal happily-ever-after wedding stories, consider the possibility of a new model that serves a deeper purpose – your own.    What kind of partnership do you long for?

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Mellissa Seaman is a co-founder of San Diego Circle and founder of Heart Wisdom and Divine Ravishment.  She provides profound energetic healing sessions, teaches workshops, leads rituals, and writes articles on spiritual awakening, healing, and sacred living.  Reach Mellissa at info@heartwisdom.net. 

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